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How to have an enjoyable, relaxed and sane holiday season

By Emily Bouchard

The weather is changing, the days are getting shorter, and there’s something looming in the distance - the holidays! That jam-packed time of gatherings, gift-giving, and glad-tidings.

My gift to you this holiday season are some questions to discover what brings you the most joy at this time of year (and also to learn what aspects of celebrating you’d much rather do without). This is a wonderful activity to do alone or with your family. Set aside some uninterrupted time to ask the following questions, and let your heart answer:

What was your favorite holiday celebration as a child? What made it so special and memorable? What were the smells and tastes that you loved the best during the holidays? What was the hardest part about the holidays for you as a child?

Where do you now feel the most stress and pressure around the holidays? In what ways do you find yourself doing what you think you should be doing, rather that what you want to be doing?

What is your favorite way to express the spirit of celebration, giving, and love at this time of year? What is something that you have always wanted to do for the holidays?

Here are some examples: Some people don’t give presents. Some families have tons of presents piled high under a tree. Some families make presents for each other. Some people don’t have a big feast, and instead volunteer at a soup kitchen or food bank. Some families have big reunions. Some people don’t celebrate the holidays at all. Some people light candles and sing songs. Some people celebrate when they can get together; others feel that being together on a particular day is what’s most important.

Now that you’ve had a chance to explore your values, give everyone permission to state how they would like to celebrate the holidays this year.

There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays. This is about discovering for yourself and your family what your values are and how you would best like to express them - regardless of what anyone else thinks. By tuning in to, and acting from, the spirit of the season as it most deeply speaks to you, I can guarantee that you will have an enjoyable, relaxed, and sane holiday season!

If the holidays are a particularly difficult time of year for you and you’d like some support, feel free to email the author at emily@blended-families.com.

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