Taking care of yourself in uncertain times

All the things we know to be true to maintain our health and well-being apply now more than ever. We are in the shifting sands of a pandemic where nothing is certain and everything is in question. Everything is different and the future is unknown.

For me and my practice, it means a crash course in tele-counseling. I am now available for online, HIPAA-compliant encrypted sessions. Safe for you and safe for me. Contact me at mbuckley50@mac.com or maureen@pointrobertscounseling.com if you are interested.

In the meantime, how do we cope? Begin with the basics by learning the important facts to protect yourself and your loved ones. By now we can all recite a list of handwashing and sanitizing and coughing into your sleeve and taking your temperature. The unknown and a lack of certainty is now ever-present. Is the sneeze my allergies or COVID-19? Is my cough the same one I get every spring season or is it the scary monster virus? 

We are all figuring it out as we go. So, let’s talk about basics for mental health and wellness. We must engage in mindful thinking and behavior, making choices that will help us all feel better.

You hear the drumbeat of breaking news, maybe the most recent health bulletin, and immediately feel stressed. You don’t have to ask yourself if you are having a stress reaction, it is obvious. Now what do you do? This is where you have choice about managing your stress rather than your stress managing you.

1. Don’t be passive. The flow needs to be an acknowledgement of the stress, a decision about how to give your body some relief, and then the action taken to address the situation. Mindfulness can be a short pause before you put the key in the ignition of your car, the moment to stop, breathe deeply, release and center yourself. Then start the car. You can alter your brain chemistry in very simple ways. Exercise. Get into the sunlight. Listen to music. Focus on gratitude. Eat good food.

2. Stay connected to others. During this time, you must use social distancing by staying six feet apart from people. But do make phone calls, talk online, go to a virtual class, meditate, game. Isolation can lead to depression. People who identify as extroverts may have a more difficult challenge maintaining social distance. My cousin and my grandson identify as introverts and both are delighted to not have to interact with others and use this time as they happily isolate. The books we can read!

3. Financial hardships are among the worst stressors. No work? Can’t work? No income? No financial cushion? Teetering on the edge? This is where we need our larger social safety net. Look out for your friends, neighbors, and family when you suspect there is a need. Reach out if you are in need. File for unemployment. Stay informed about possible financial assistance from the federal government.

Most importantly, try not to go too deeply into the fear. Rather, ask yourself if you can find a creative new solution. You might find an old idea suddenly reappear that could make a difference. Or a new idea that opens up a surprise channel of fresh possibility.

Remember that J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book as a divorced mother of one on welfare. Her quote: “I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized and I still had a daughter that I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”