An Open Letter to Prime Minister Trudeau’s mom

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Dear Margaret,

 

This is Point Roberts calling.

 

Do you remember how, when you were a student at Simon Fraser University, you and five of your friends would pile into a convertible VW Beetle and drive down here to drink beer and dance at The Breakers tavern on holiday weekend Sundays? Those were the days, listening to Loverboy, Doug and the Slugs, Trooper, Long John Baldry and even Chubby Checker.

 

Some of us liked it so much that we even moved here when we got older. I know, weird.

 

After B.C. got rid of its blue laws in 1986, things got tough. No more crowds on Sundays, no big bands, nothing. But I tell you, those times seem great compared to how things have been since the border was closed and trapped all of us below the 49th parallel with hardly any way out. It’s like we’re living in a ghost town.

 

Maggie, is it ok that I call you Maggie? Maggie, do you remember Mick, Ronnie, Keith and What’s his Face? We think, can’t be sure, that the Stones’ recent big hit, Living in a Ghost Town, was written about Point Roberts.

 

And though times have been really, really hard, they’re about to get a whole lot worse. The owner of the only grocery store in town has announced she’s closing it down. Seems she’s losing $30,000 a month without the Canadians coming down to their cabins. We’ll be moving from a ghost town into a food desert.

 

Why am I writing? One word. Justin.

 

He seems like a nice kid. Has a nice family. I’m sometimes curious about who picks out his clothes, though. (Hey, did you ever meet the Maharishi during your Studio 54 days?)

 

I’m wondering if you could do something for Point Roberts, for old time’s sake. We’ve been writing Justin about our plight but our people think his people aren’t giving him our letters.

 

We really, really, really need him to open up our little border here. We’re safe. Over 85 percent of us are fully vaccinated and only four of us ever caught Covid-19. And they didn’t catch it here.

 

Do you think you could ring Justin up and go all Mom on him? He’d listen to you.

 

Afterwards, you could come down to the Point and I could show you around. See the now-closed Breakers. Have a beer across the street at the Reef. We’d even give you and whoever comes with you your second dose of vaccine, Moderna or Pfizer, your choice.

 

We offer you our deepest appreciation, in advance.

 

On behalf of the beleaguered (and soon to be very hungry) residents of Point Roberts, I remain,

 

Patrick Grubb (call me Pat)

Publisher

All Point Bulletin

Point Roberts, WA

 

PS. I didn’t major in Sociology like you did, I took a minor at SFU. I wonder if we ever saw each other at the Breakers...

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